Our Worst Enemy

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with your brain rushing, heart racing, replaying the difficult situations of the day and working tirelessly to solve impending disasters. This was the case for a young leader that I worked with who had been rapidly promoted and found himself suddenly a small fish in a big pond after a recent set of promotions. He opened the conversation with “I am thinking about leaving the company”, “I’m useless, not up to it, I should have known.”

We can be so tough on ourselves in these crucial moments. If we were dealing with someone we loved we would be patient, supportive and encouraging, but not us. We often choose to treat ourselves as an enemy from within. Turning on ourselves at the time when we most need our own help. Left to continue on this path the future looks bleak. At best dissatisfaction and low well-being, at worst failure and restarting from scratch.

So what can we do about it?

First of all our enemy isn’t all bad. They are working hard to make sure that impending doom doesn’t strike and that we don’t put ourselves in danger. Problem is when we only give air time to them we only get one side of the story. Also, left unattended we are really good at confirming our worst fears by finding supporting evidence to back up our views.

It’s ok to give a little air time to this view point but without some balance it can feel a little one sided. We need to have a systematic approach for listening to our inner enemy but also our inner ally. They are there sitting under the surface waiting to be heard. Then take a helicopter view and take them both in, the enemy and the ally. What are each offering you and what do you need to do with that information.

Try it for 5 days and see how you feel and think about yourself after that. I guarantee that your perspective will start to build and with that, your confidence to step into the challenges of each day.

So who do you listen to most, your inner enemy or ally?